so the mother woke me up at 7 in the am to go to the hospice to help my uncle transfer my grandfather to his new nursing home. i'm not complaining because i haven't been able to bring myself to visit him on a consistent and regular basis. aging, it's not something i'm good at dealing with. i'm sure many others share the same sentiment. and this is where i must say, i give hospice care nurses, or those carers for the terminally ill and aged, my full respect. it takes a very happy person to do things like that.
the new nursing home was alright. some parts of the facility were pretty dodgy, but we had to make do. the administration office happened to be opposite this room call the rehabilitation room, where members would go in for physio-therapy sessions. so while waiting for the mother and uncle to settle the paperwork, i stood outside. it's been a long long time since i've been surrounded by that many old people. i had to move myself away several times to let wheel chairs past. i felt stares on me - from those passing by and from those in the rehab room. it's almost as if they were making a connection with me and what was once their youth. i was scared - the fear of being one of them. it is my regret that i say this now with so much distance. my uncle initially made a passing comment about how 20% of the population would be like this come 2030. i tried to think of other things, but my mind just kept on going. about how my mum would be 15 years from now, or where i'd be when i got old. i got even more scared, and assured myself that i would not live such a low quality of life - more meaningless cycles while waiting for that eventual death. i'd rather impose death on myself. and then i felt bad. where were my morals. where was my compassion. i am a coward. i am a victim of youth.
on the brighter side of things, today was also Liat hangout day. those in attendance: rohai, iliyas, fio, dell, twinkles, jack and jason. it was a blast. i'm still hungover from that sugar rush. it's been so long since we've done this, our usual coffee dates and not-so-mild bitching sessions. now that some people are working, and with more going to start work, it's harder to meet up. and well, the rest of us bummers can't meet up due to that financial strain. and you ask me why starbucks liat is closing down. bumped into shaun and noelle, i miss them, my interpop crew. there were many random hi's and waves being thrown across the tables in the duration of our presence there. friendster coming to life you say? matin came down and hung out with his brownie thing from dairy queen. that shit looked awesome, but also screamed CALORIES.
i like planning my week, and the last two weeks of june will be hedonistic, lovely and mindblowing. i am coping with things better. cenna just told me she'd be coming over for 4 days. how can i not be happy with life. to you who's been making me so miserable, i have many other yous who make my world swirl. okay that didn't make sense. i'm sleepy. <3 to those who know who they are.
