Recently I've been ranting on and on like a lunatic. En calls me the emo girl, which i say is neither absolutely true nor false. Jenna thinks I'm the friendliest person (note, this is not a case of self-praise). We all have split personalities. We have the inner and the outer being. The naked self that comes through only to the closest of friends, and the many other layers that are put on depending on the social setting. But that's not my point in case.
I've been rather lost of late. I feel my personality decomposing within, if i have any at all. I feel like I'm being ripped apart and scoured by scavengers. Mambo yesterday made me realise how much I've been affected by the quick turn of events that's been going on. Perhaps it's made me aware that I do have plenty of unfinished business. It's bizarre that I cannot tell you, my reader, what exactly they are, for I myself do not know. That as much as I can say to hell with what they think or do, I know I'd mull over it for days on end. Agony, that's what they call it. Anything reminiscent of the past rings in my eardrums like a bittersweet symphony. And when the past collides with the present more often than neccessary, it's time to shut my eyes and let the tears stream down my face. But no matter, it's a haunting presence, the past. There cannot be enough 'letting it out', because now and then, when i look back and think, that's the start of emotional disaster. And maybe the unfinished businesses are better left tucked away in that dusty corner. The further away I move, the better. Singapore is too small. I don't like being connected and traced all so easily. I want to live in a small town in Sicily and never be found.
An awkward moment happened at Mambo yesterday. I shall not delve into details. Let's just say I saw people I didn't want to see. I have to thank an overpacked Zouk for allowing me to pretend I didn't see these individuals. After several nudges, I turned around and gave half-baked smiles. Don't know if the other parties sensed it. Then now I think back and realise, maybe it wasn't such a smart move on my part. Ah, to hell with that.
Met up with Ben and Dell today. :)) The company swung my mood in a gradual upward motion.
Sidenote: I've been told that I have the 'i want to bitchslap/punch you face.' Which I absolutely disagree with.
Sidenote: I am being eaten up by bubbly bits of what may be heat rash or insect bites.
