fingers move up and down those ebony and ivory keys and your ears hear - a melancholic melody.
don't get me wrong. i'm not in an emo i-want-to-slit-my-wrists state. punch a wall or break something, maybe. i wish i could map my mind out, have specific longitudinal and lattitudinal references for each thought so i don't get all tangled up so often.
the past always haunts us although we might say that it's forgotten. my pubescent years were a mess, and i'm afraid to step back onto that rollercoaster. No doubt it did take me through my highest highs, but also my lowest lows.
what i'd take from it if i could, was that ruthless confidence that i had. perhaps it was an exaggerated act to mask my insecurities. I've become the girl who plays it safe. I don't want to take the shortcut and stumble only to inflict the same pain upon myself. I'd rather endure the drudgery of the longer, more tiring alternative route.
