please just tell me your name, mister.

Friday, April 28, 2006

This week has been relatively quiet than the past and thankfully, the impulsive shopping has stopped.

My expenses are fast growing due to
1) Dance Classes
2) Dance Attire
3) Hp Bill
4) The Bangkok Trip
5) The Driving Lessons that I WANT.
6) My newly adopted diet - eating lunch out and buying muesli/fruit/salad...

I'm not too optimistic about saving anything, with that list. It's one hell of a struggle but I'll try.

Speaking of dance, class on Wednesday was awesome. It was as if we'd gone back in time to one of those practices again. Just us - the CJ dance girls (and a couple of outsiders), and Gin. Rockin' good lesson, not without cam whoring of course - our favourite past time. Thanks to Jenna, I've also found adult ballet and jazz classes. =)

CJ DANCE 2004-2005 - Qian, Liza, Claud Cass, Jenna

Received my application status for NUS, got into the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (read: rejected by law faculty). I can't say I'm disappointed because doing arts is what I ultimately wanted. I did better than I thought I would in the A Levels: was eligible for Law, and applied for it without any expectation at all. Yet, the time lapse gradually enhanced my expectation and capsuled my own expectation within an illusion of no expectations. I don't know how to put it, and only those who've experienced it would understand. It's sort of confidence without being too hopeful. I've mourned enough. It's time to move on.

Here's to lighten things up a bit. Check out this blog on the horny male species caught redhanded in IRC chatrooms. Loads of crude humour promised. Anyway, who uses IRC nowadays.

she waxed lyrical - 2:47 PM

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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

" Writing is flying in dreams.
When you remember. When you can. When it works.
It's that easy."

--- AUTHOR'S NOTEBOOK, FEBRUARY 1992 ---

she waxed lyrical - 1:43 PM

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Monday, April 24, 2006

A trip down to the 9 west sale added two more pairs of gorgeous cannot do without heels to my collection of already alot of shoes. Also got myself spanking new shades whilst waiting for dell. I really should keep myself out of retail outlets from now on.

This pretty thing was screaming out to me: GET ME NOW

On another note. Caught MIRRORMASK (book by neil gaiman) at PS. A Highly recommended flick if you're an avid indie film fan. The ace affair delivery was a no show because Jerms forgot to bring my four leave clover out. And i heard he's down with fever, what a terrible dread. Take care my friend.

Shisha with Dell and Rah was a rather emotional affair. Now that our Bangkok trip is materialising, there are real issues we have to deal with; mainly accountability and responsibility. Don't really want to impose on Dell's mum should anything go wrong. But girls, I'm sure it'd be a rockin' trip hopefully without any bickering yes? I've been on this diet of muesli, fruits, veg, meat, non-carbs (except for cornflakes), diet coke, oolong tea, water and gym-ing thanks to Cenna. BUT dell said muesli is fake health food. DAMN. oh sigh. Let's just say I'd rather live without THAT knowledge, PRETENDING i didn't know. =)

Arab Street Shisha is the best anti-depressant EVER, especially with my favourite girls - DELL n RAH

Here's just how quaint and eclectic Arab Street is. No fancy computer produced posters, just a handwritten sign plastered on a wall outside a shisha joint.
it reads: FANCY FABRICS, $2-50 METRES. Just the way I like it, old school

there was another juxtaposition of a classy chandelier hanging outside a pretty old shophouse. How interesting.

Mum told me to read Sunday's papers about this girl Joan, who got infected with tongue cancer, and I did. Whilst I did think her spirit was commendable, I'd like to think I wouldn't battle cancer, especially one in stage IV. If fate has it for me to go, then I should comply. We're all part of the natural cycle of life and death that embodies a magnificent force greater than we know of. If my time were to be up, I could be hit by a car the minute I stepped out of office. Well yes, cancer is different, it's a prolonged battle. Mum says you'd have unfulfilled desires, regret, and you'd want to prolong your life not bearing to see your loved ones go, no matter the magnitude of pain. MAYBE. Because I'm not there yet, I wouldn't know.

All I'm saying is, I feel it's no point fighting it. I'd tell my loved ones to wipe their tears, knowing I'd be safe above and would see them soon. Really, is there any point in fighting knowing that you're erring on the side of death. Death is like a person full of greed - it needs to have its stomach filled and there's no stopping it. If I were to be its next victim, I'd surrender, not a sign of weakness, but because its fate. Humans try too hard to intercept, and when they do, things fall apart. It's hard to let go, it's even harder knowing you've tried so hard not to let go, but to no avail. If it were for me to be healed, I would've learned of my sickness earlier wouldn't I. There is life after death and our journey on earth is but a temporal one and the pain will all come to pass.

Talk with mum was good. I realised her concerns and her position of being a parent. I have also assured her that I know how to take care of myself, I know what I want in life, or out of it and that I am already 18. She's insecure, about what might happen to me, friends I hang out with andn everything else. There is trust, alongside with mistrust. There is nothing one can do about parental control, only to come to a compromise, where both parties would understand each one's position. This was a reminder of the trust she has in me, and me hopefully not breaking it. Because trust is earned and not automatic. I told her she might be a little paranoic perhaps due to my younger days, hence the bit of mistrust. She's concerned about the different values my friends have, and how it might affect me as to her, values are universal and it's not a generation gap issue. I understand where she's coming from. Each race has its own value system that will stand the tide of time just as each family has its own manner of bringing up children. And whilst I may have my rebellious streak, I know better than to break the trust again, and thankfully I know she's slowly learning to let go.

she waxed lyrical - 1:31 PM

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Sunday, April 23, 2006

I'm a shoppaholic in need of rehab. The past week has been full of movies, shopping and thankfully very little eating. =) Firewall almost gave me a heart attack whilst Take the Lead was pretty disappointing. And it's such a dread that Rent has ceased screening. ARGHH.

I'm smiling like a dork because
1) Cenna Chen - also the 'long lost twin' has made her trip back from Bangkok the past week.
2) I got myself almost a whole new wardrobe
3) My labtop connection is finally up and running.

CENNA CHEN. I AM DYING TO GO TO BANGKOK END OF JUNE. DYING. I CAN'T WAIT. I'M MISSING YOU ALREADY.

IT'S BEEN A CRAZEE 10 DAYS. AND HERE'S TO 98574467 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP. LOVE YOU SHITLOADS <3

CENNA CHEN & HAN YI QIAN

21/11/1987 - CRAZY GIRLS

MY LAST KISS =(

On ANOTHER HAPPY NOTE;
SHIPMENT #1 from ACEAFFAIR has ARRIVED.
MEETING JERMS, DELL and RAH in a few hours' time.
NS guys BOOK OUT THIS WEEK.
NINE WEST is having a MAJOR SALE.

you're damn right im a happy dork.. =))

she waxed lyrical - 2:56 AM

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Sunday, April 16, 2006

well this is coming a tad too late, but..

V for VENDETTA KICKS BUTT!!!

the cinemas in Clementi are old school, the 1980s leather covered sponge seats, with bits ripped out and non-carpeted floors. pretty scary but eclectic as well. the movie was mind-blowing, savoured every minute of it; even the gruesome bits of blood spilling out and heads rolling. wonderfully crafted. now its time to read the comic.

she waxed lyrical - 12:24 AM

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

post A level life is an empty void. you get to work, hoping to earn some buck to upkeep your expensive or not-so-expensive lifestyle and not be a leech off your parents. you knock off feeling like a tired dimwit, decide to head back home looking to food and the television for comfort, and then hit the bed for it is another early morning tomorrow. this meaningless cycle repeats itself day after day. Weekends? you try to get some rest, do something you like and squeeze all your plans into those 2 days. plans that had to be made months in advance.

i'm not saying work is a chore or a bore. i guess everything needs getting used to. but i'd gladly trade a working day - yes, even if it means waking up at 6am, for a school one. this meaningless void is indescribable. arguably, it's how you make it fulfilling. yet, be it serving customers or sitting in front of the computer the entire day, it somehow seeps even the slightest bit of energy you have left out of you. the computer is your pseudo best friend; until it crashes on you. and human contact is minimal, much less the acquisition of knowledge. perhaps it is this stagnation of the mind i am frustrated with.

i miss school. and i can't wait to get back. i'd probably love to study all my life. i know i'd never make it up the corporate ladder. but there is more to life than chasing the dollar, is there not? and i presume that's why our society is not reaching the cultured potential it can be. i know of many who have dreams of something, and rather give it up all for that dollar, the luxurious life. of course i'm not asking anyone to be a pauper. all i'm asking is, isn't a comfortable life living your dream more worthwhile than having a luxurious one?

I know my dad's pretty disappointed, knowing I'd never strike it big (financial wise), but thankfully he understands. There're more important things I need and want to do. It's a huge risk; life's one big one in itself anyway.

she waxed lyrical - 1:33 PM

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Sunday, April 09, 2006

I've cousins very much older than me. As a kid, whenever I saw them booking in and out of camp, I thought it was meant only for the older ones, and that this time would almost never come for those my age. Yet, 15 years seem to past so fast and now all of them are surrendered to the jungles in tekong or wherever else they may be.

The SZ boys, well basically don, james, jeremy, loo, and i had our last supper (of sorts) at
Esplanade's glutton square, with barely 10 bucks in our pockets each. It wasn't a big feast, just one oh luak and beers. I reckon work's going to be not-so-the-same without James and Jeremy keeping me company via the world wide web. Sigh. Say what, I'd really miss all of you.

Camped out at East Coast with the usual suspects on saturday - hudah, fadz, zuzu, zul, halim, fuzzy, chloe and qai. Swimming in the sea at 1am in the morning, drinking, feasting out and just chilling. =) Just as we were about to knock out, the storm came and boy was it scary. Even though we got to the shelter in time, we were all huddling up like furballs because it was terribly effing cold and the wind was so strong our mats refused to stay still on the ground and we had hide ourselves beneath it. There was nothing we could do but sit still. Even talking became quite a feat. We kinda got a taste of survivor (EAST COAST ISLAND), and how bored they must feel just stoning out. Dreamland came to me pretty fast in an awkward position until they said it was time to go. Scary shit, beats clubbing and urban life anytime. So our next outing's on the way. Should be the zoo or something. Can't wait. =)

she waxed lyrical - 5:34 PM

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