please just tell me your name, mister.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

re-structuring.

she waxed lyrical - 9:24 PM

Thursday, August 30, 2007

okay, so i'm indecisive and sentimental. i refuse to close down this pathetic site with a slightly more than immature template. as much as i don't like it the way it is now, it will be extremely painful to have to forget this, just like how i still cannot forget ilurvehiphop.diaryland.com. yes, go ahead and laugh all you want.

i have tons of backlog photos in my camera. for those of you who know, my camera is a little wonky, and the images come in elephant sizes, hence alot of work has to be done to properly resize them. please, someone help me. i also regret not having done up my blog template and all that superficial stuff, because now, i'm stuck with this ugly template for the next semester. unless of course, i turn into superwoman.

school's really keeping me on my toes. there're so many events with radiopulze, and external organisations that engage us. my first emcee session was pretty dreadful. i tripped on my words plenty of times. ugh. my next stint will be this weekend at junction8. those interested to see me make a fool of myself, do pop by. and if you're feeling like a samaritan, you can either buy food for me, keep me company, or give me tips for my good effort. the funds will go towards my fendi spy bag fund.

on a more serious note, i am being raped, as mark would call it, by school work. literally and metaphorically. readings are accumulating, and i am trying my very best. ARGH.

and my weeks are packed, i promise people to meet up and never quite do. i feel horrible.

now, last but not least, here's a small-scale budget effective publicity stunt. considering the number of readers i have, you know, like probably 20,000 hits a day or something. LOL.

AMATEUR TAKES CONTROL and THE VINYL SUMMER (that's my band)

ARTS HOUSE, EARSHOT CAFE, 7:30pm.

---see, we're so poor we can't even afford colour

she waxed lyrical - 8:55 AM

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Friday, August 10, 2007

i am contemplating closing down this blog. it feels like a new chapter has begun, and the allegiance to this pixelated page has been interrupted. i am struggling between nostalgia and the need to move on, my verdict will be out in due time.

for now, let me try to recount the past three weeks that have flown by. work has basically stripped all priveleges of maintaining a reasonable social life during the weekdays. work's not so much stressful as it is frustrating. i am frustrated at the irresponsibility of my employers, to their students. just to give a rather sketchy picture, i started out teaching 2 students for english, and now the class's grown to 6. not a problem if they were all of the same standard. but my employers seem to ignore that fact, and conveniently place the children under my wing, as if it were a dumping ground of sorts. it's impossible for the older students to progress, and the newer ones to catch up. these are foreign students with no knowledge of english, mind you. it's a worser disaster for math. i have to run back and forth between two classrooms: teach, mark corrections, and ensure that they do not end up killing one another. it's another bizzarre situation that they, knowing that both my colleague and myself will be starting school in about 4 days, choose to only 'look into' the lack of a proper teacher at this time. let me not go on about how they treat the other employee. i am done, and sometimes, letting go is best.

the national day preview, which i attended awhile ago; my first since primary 5, was breathtaking. i loved the showcases of the air and seacrafts. i wished the f16s did more stunts though. but like every national day celebration, the audience is never to be disappointed, what more amidst great company.

the second highlight these past three weeks, was probably catching tan pin pin's invisible city. it's unfortunate that elias couldn't make it. it was an insightful and thought-provoking documentary. i particularly liked the intentional gaps left to force us into that awkward understanding of dementia, and memory loss.

i can't quite remember what happened inbetween. nothing so important, i believe. the usual beat attendance. recently, however, it was gig week. first it was force vomit at the esplanade theatre studio with roland, charan, elias and the others. their new songs aren't too bad. it was said to be a sold-out gig, but the space seemed pretty empty, and the crowd quite passive, probably saving all their energy for SITI, played during the encore. i was all upset about not being able to go for the cure, but roland was so kind to fork out the money for me first. on top of that, he managed to get me a 90 bucks deal for the 178 standing tickets on the day itself. you bet i was ecstatic. so on wednesday, the 1st of august, i was a very happy girl. what a way to start the new month! robert smith was mindblowing. the band played for three hours, without anything being said to the audience, other than the customary 'thank you'. brad dumped me last minute flyers to hand out, and roland threw them in the air towards the end of the gig. it was hilarious how everyone else thought the flyers came from the band, and they were literally snatching them. i watched this with amusement. the rest of that night was spent at home club. i skipped poptart. i got extremely intoxicated, dancing to jackson 5 and other 80s hits, and then twirling mark around in circles. thanks guys for dumping me in the front seat of the cab, and talking about my non-existent cleavage.

in that very same week was Baybeats. Friday was extreme mayhem. headed out with the intention to chill with some wine and catch Plain Sunset. With two mad men as company, and the third lost with some girl somewhere in marina, we headed straight to the 7-11 and grabbed for ourselves 2 bottles of wine. We so glamourously uncorked them at cafe cartel with my ancient corkscrew and made our way through marina square to the esplanade, gulping down wine with much gusto. Plain Sunset's gig was more like a cardio workout than anything else. Before we knew it, we were tangled in the mosh pit. Cowan and Roland unexpectedly grabbed me up to a sea of waving hands, as i surfed through the crowd with my bag, before the first number even ended. Roland was my appointed bodyguard, for his arm was wrapped tightly around my neck like a dogleash. THANKS. :) and towards the end of the gig, it was time for another body surf by yours truly, initiated by her wonderful friends of course. It was fun, nonetheless. Made our way to Home Club, and drank some more. Three bottles and many more jugs. Of course we were high. And my dear friend was on the verge of puking, hor, Elias? : )

It's a miracle how i managed to drag myself out of the house the next day for another session of Baybeats. LoveSong's set was impressive. Thereafter, headed to the hangout hotel and chilled with the bands, with booze of course. Chilled on their rooftop. I could live there. I think i might book rooms there for my birthday. It's also nice to hear the experiences of different people. One of the members from Aloha was telling me about how his sister is stuggling to be an actress in New York, and how the people in Boston were snooty. TooKoo (a band from Beijing), and Nick, the bassist from LoveSong struck me most. We talked about the most random things, from how the Chinese in Singapore were so different to how much a bottle of whisky cost. It was a great experience, really. I got home free from the evil grasps of alcohol, but tired nonetheless.

Again, I managed to get up on Sunday without any aching bones. Headed over to Roland's for dinner before heading down to the last and final day of Baybeats. All of us were shagged by then, and hence chose to just sit around until Aloha played. They're my favourite this time around. Their skills are inhuman, and the distorted sounds of the xylophones were indescribable. It's admirable how every member of the band switch around the instruments like musical chairs. At one point, the drummer had three drum sticks; two in one hand, and one in the other. At another point, he had a tamberine in his hand, while playing the drums. Isn't that what you call talent? I was blown away. To think that they were so humble when i met them the night before.

After all that massive mayhem, this week's going slower. I am home on a Friday night. Nothing much has been happening, except for tying up the loose ends with work, and getting my act together for school. Of course, there was National Day, and i missed unpopular radio and sweetmusic's broadcast 'Nationalism Day', because i was in slumber. sorry guys, "no make friend" haha. Tomorrow's poker, and Sunday's jamming with the band. Oh yes, for those interested, LoveSong, TooKoo, and Amateur Takes Control will be playing at Home Club this Sunday as well.

As for driving, i think i'm getting on quite fine. comments have generally been inconsistent driving. Hopefully, i'd get my license end of this year, or early next year. i think i'm manouvring the right turns quite well, but the circuit still puts me off quite a bit. let's see what happens when it's time for the parking and slope modules. i'm preparing myself for a disaster.

My brother's macbook pro is officially mine. I am getting it organised, and pictures will be up soon, if i don't get too lazy.

she waxed lyrical - 8:13 PM

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

i've always told people to get over it. move on. i've also detested those who've idled their lives away, always mulling over something they were going to do. yet, i look back upon my own in extreme embarrassment. i've always had big great plans that've never materialised. not having the knowledge to put these into action is no excuse. what with google and books readily available at borders. there're so many things i want to do, and i often spend the time in slumber, or doing other little unimportant things which eventually don't matter. is the drive not enough, or is this plain laziness? i convince myself half-heartedly that inspiration's not coming my way, but that's just another excuse. i think i want instant gratification, and that's impossible. it's something i've got to knock into my head. the semester is beginning. i need to buck up and get my grades in check. as i've mentioned, there're a couple new projects i've embarked on. and i'm going to make them into something. i need to concentrate on one thing at a time. i think that's just the problem.

she waxed lyrical - 11:15 PM

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Just as i thought i've reached a plateau, something has come my way. I'm excited, but i fear criticism. I fear i won't live up to expectations. someone says 'no fear', but there's still a great deal of self-doubt. i shan't let on about what new project i've embarked on. in time to come, rather, when the time is right, i will. a newfound direction, i presume, and something that's always been at the back of my mind. yet, as i progress from one stage to another, i've sacrificed another part of me - dance. i don't even remember the last time i attended class. nostalgia is speaking together with regret.

work's been tiring, even though the hours are relatively short. i love those little terrors. i find joy in rewarding them with stars marked in red ink, as much as sadistic satisfaction sets in when i confiscate their psps or give them a stern dressing down for shabby homework. above all, i've realised truly that education is synonymous with understanding. the importance of foundation cannot be further stressed, and it is an idealistic goal. i hope i'm teaching them as much as they've taught me.

i miss the loosely termed "clique" - you know who you are, outing soon please. i miss waking up late, and regular visits to the gym. and eventually, when school begins, i will miss those little terrors, especially my favourite ball of sunshine.

she waxed lyrical - 1:07 AM

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Friday, July 06, 2007

someone will shoot me sooner or later for not having the pictures uploaded. my sincere apologies, as i've been rather busy of late. yes, i've finally started working. today was my first day, as an english/math tutor to foreign students sitting for the enrollment exams. i think teaching is a career i might eventually consider. i like it. the children might be terrors, or the demands of the job extremely high, but i truly enjoy it. although i might not be the best role model in terms of moral standards (i hardly have any) or 'good' social behaviour, i believe in educating young minds to be knowledge seekers. ask me again in a month and i'd tell you the same thing.

i've been wanting to join AWARE since Dell got involved with them some time last year, but it just never got to my list of priorities. however, recently, it's been hovering at the back of my mind, and i finally remembered to join today. funny how i've been thinking about it the entire day though. i want to participate in their campaigns, and help abused victims. it's something i feel strongly for, i think it's a calling of sorts. friends claim me to be feminist anyway. so, whilst browsing their webpage, i found a few interesting, and noteworthy lines.

"The cock may crow but it's the hen that lays the eggs."
- Margaret Thatcher

"I myself have never been able to find out what feminism is; i only know that people call me a feminist when i express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat."
- Rebecca West

"Remembering what a rapist looks like isn't the problem. Trying to forget is."

www.aware.org.sg

she waxed lyrical - 12:58 AM

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Saturday, June 30, 2007

i'm home on a saturday night. it's been too long since i've stayed home on a weekend night, much less right through the week. i think that shall be my short term goal until semester begins. yes. to stay in for the next couple of weeks. no more squishy mambo and smelling armpits at phuture. no more bobbing heads and random talk at home club. no more substances of intoxication. as much as the destruction has been done, something can be done to at least prevent further damage. actually, at this point, i'm really itching to go to the national stadium's closing down party. my only gripe about it besides the parental's violent objection to me staying out late AGAIN, will be the sweltering heat and potential and very dangerous mud pools on the field. so as much as i'd love to mambo and phuture along with the rest of the nation's young, crazy wild things (and many other desperate boys), at a different and sentimental location, i reckon i'd be happier in front of my computer screen basking in the coolness of air-conditioning. afterall, i do have a mambo playlist.

i'm probably saying all of this because i've had a bad night. in fact, i've not quite been enjoying myself the last few times out, and i have no idea why i keep at it. it's time to join the AA maybe. the start of last night was fantabulous. all the girls were down and we celebrated ms butler's birthday. :)) whoohoo. someone's sweet sweet 20. love love love and more love darling. mwa! the pictures will be up very soon. we parted ways and that was probably a mistake. i shan't go into the painful details of last night's experience. all i can say is, apart from being smashed and talking 10 times more rubbish than ranon and chew combined (they are going to kill me), i felt particularly down. very, would be a bold understatement to say the least.

anyway, today was indriana's (nana) wedding. woke up early with no voice and a splitting headache. instead of taking the mrt, i went along with my dad's brilliant idea of taking 66 to eunos cc. big mistake. the bus passed through the most skanky and dodgy places. it was scary, and i felt like i was on the bus along the streets of bangkok or malaysia. i could deal with the shanty town thing, just not when i'm dressed up for a wedding. after one and a half hours, i finally alighted, only to get lost amidst the streets of bedok reservoir. the heat was a deadly assasin. i could feel myself melting into molecules. so anyway, hung around with ben for a while. rohai finally made his way down after waiting for a cab for 40 minutes, and that poor boy stays in tampines. (oh how i miss him!!) when he got there, he was as mad as i was when i first got there, but the food took away all that fury. we stuffed our faces and hung around, waiting for nana's second costume change. some dungeonites arrived, and others, well, they were on their way from their respective errands. i guessed rohai and i were tired, and we decided to take our leave before the rest arrived. too bad we couldn't take that huge ass dungeon group photo. but all's the same and i say this again, congrats nana on this special day :)).

i feel terribly down. awfully awkwardm, and i don't need alcohol. i need ... an early night. that would probably be best. cheers.

ps. our plans for botak jones and island creamery tomorrow will most likely be shelved. guys, if you're reading this, please let me know what the plans are okay? thanks :)

she waxed lyrical - 8:53 PM

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